A Christmas Poem, Merry XxX-Mas

Twas, the night before Christmas, and all through the house.
Not a creature was stirring, except for my mouse.

No kids lived with me, so I thought I would chatter.
There'd be no damn reindeer, and no stupid clatter.

There'd be no fat elf, coming through my chimney.
I'll be alone, my computer and me. Guess ill search
facebook and myspace for shones to keep me company.

I won't race to the window, to see him arrive.
I'll just sit right here..... with windows ninety-five.

There's no one I know, as I'm surfing around.
None of my regular buddies are found.

I went in some chat rooms, but quickly got out.
Age, sex, location is all that's about.

As, I was about to go check out the net.
I got an E-mail, that I didn't expect.

A lady told me, she had read my profile.
And, ask, if I might like to chat for a while.

Sure why not, i dont have a wife.
i really do hope that this shone is bout that life.

She said, if I didn't, then she would just leave.
But, she was so lonely, on this Christmas eve.

She said, it's the first time, she'd ever been on.
But, she heard, computers, could be so much fun.

She said, the computer, was usually locked tight.
But, she said, her husband, left it on....... tonight.

He's away on some business, He'll be gone all night.
So, she thought she'd use it, "I guess it's alright".

She started to tell me, about her whole life.
How, she was expected to be a good wife.

She talked of her anger, frustrations, and needs.
Because, she was forced, to do such silly deeds.

She talked on and on, from one thing to the next.
Then finally told me.......she was oversexed.

She didn't have sex, with her husband, she told.
He's always too busy, and getting too old.

old? you'll never 2 old to shone i said to myself

Then, she wrote me something, that made my heart vex.
She ask me to teach her, to have cyber-sex.

I said, if she wanted me to, that I could.
Then after an hour, she got really good.

After five hours, my fingers were sore.
I told her, that I couldn't go anymore.

She said, that was fine, because she was tired too.
And anyway, her husband, soon would be due.

She said she would be on, the same time next year.
Then ask, if I wouldn't mind, meeting her here.

She said, only.... on this night, she could be found.
It is only.... this night, her husband leaves town.

She said bye, and signed off.....and I had to pause.
I think I just cybered........with Mrs. Santa-Shone-A-Claus !!!!

Selfless

Selfless
By: S.F.R.

Motivated by no concern for oneself; unselfish. Having little or no concern for oneself, esp. with regard to fame, position, money, etc. Devoted to others' welfare or interest and not one's own. Having no regard to self, having no concern for self.

In selfless service, no one ever receives the fruits of their rewards. Through selfless service, eternal peace is obtained. Even now, I make no apologies for the choices I made. The sacrifices I made were selfless. The options offered were patriotic while the paths I chose were sometimes well thought out, others just winged. I do some selfless service for people who are in need. I consider the whole picture, not just my miniature self in a gigantic world, and do my part. I Study my part, Learn my part, and I play my part in life. A Meaningful person will always live and share meaningful moments because they live life in a meaningful way. Through selfless work, love grows in the heart. Then through grace one realizes love in the course of time. Love can be seen. God is seen. One can talk to him as I am talking to you. Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment. Each person that I have met in my life has made a profound impact in my world and I thank them all with a passion. Ex’s & foes. Sometimes the impacts were temporarily seen and felt as positive or negative impact in my life; however at the end of the day if you could look deeper into the situation, the moment or the experience and learn something new or better yet learn something about yourself then your life can be much more intensified with meaning and joy. Real love is when you become selfless and you are more concerned about your mate's egos than your own. You're now a giver instead of a taker. So here’s the question of the hour, Can you love someone without that someone loving you back? Is love a feeling or a passion? Does love come with time or is it an instant feeling? Is Love a selfish act that one uses to justify their feelings or is it a selfless act? What is LOVE??? You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. Selfless to the senseless, sometimes that’s how it feels. So I do what comes natural to me,

Sean just being normal and selfless having, exhibiting, or motivated by no concern for oneself; unselfish. Having little or no concern for oneself, esp. with regard to fame, position, money, etc. Devoted to others' welfare or interest and not one's own. Having no regard to self, having no concern for self : UNSELFISH , Selfless .

iHeartu

When I saw u, I didn’t have to say anything
Yea, im weak, u touch me on my heart, like air
Yea right there
Love screaming!!!!
Snap ur finger, & love is here inside my future
There goes my nightmares
of
neverfinding love Breaking on the floor
Avoiding mirrors
By this love
reflexes,
Closing the door
Of that dark glass house
U make my body
warm

I know u wasn’t born with a silver spoon, so I fed you with disposable ones made from platinum
I see that I have something that I never had
Right now the price is
right
I play my own hand
Never shuffle, nor fold
In this love 2 became
whole
Like my foot woke up from being asleep
My love for u is screaming for attention like its stuck in a
hole
Im not a demon but a lost soul
walkin in circles
Thanks for finding me
Now my love is pass that cross road
So I stand 8 feet tall
Like a in-sole
Soft, Sometimes this love hurts like a swollen lymph
node
So I tell those who hate, Fuck U like a nym foe
my love flows like water into a new fish bowl
so now I cruise and drive slow
no fast forwards thru life,
This new love is born
Even after im dead and gone my love for you will still be felt, heard, but not missed.
Females, Bitches & hoes gay fans, now
pissed

Just being honest
I see no other females
So I Burn my lil black book and keep dancing
I call it love
Celibate, no1 else have that part of me that is rightfully yours…..abstain, no stains
making haters throw dem 2 fingers
not 1,2 peace, but the deuces
love is balling like swoosh
nike Jordan fused
u change me
Liver is clean, but lungs, that’s a taste of blueberry juice
kinda different like a mix of patron & goose
Pa-truce
Classy tipsy, never drunk

u is what was missing in my life
like a knife at thanksgiving
cum slow, beat like a con-go
in love’s zone
so I vibe
Wham that shit
Feeling gud like toy toni tone
looking me in my eyes
I go crazy
I cant stand to see u love some1 else
Id rather b blind

Ur love Kissed my hotspot, u know, under the ear
So I kiss u back
This love is open, spread
This story is red,
I mean read
Best thing since head
brain
This love gives me tears not from pain
Droves set free and the whole church cry’s from joy
Of my feeling for u
Pleasing so I please yah
Everyday knowing I have u is my Jesus birthday
Christmas
This love is a secret song
a dialogue only heaven knows
Yea rare, like an alive walking carebear
If love was guns, guess that would make my heart a gun store

Fantasy of words
So I write
Hate is taking a loss
Last words? Undescribable or Indescribable
Yea Jibberish
This feeling, This love, is intuition
love
of
wall-e finding his
Ev-a

i aint bout that life?
i live that life!

by myself

Theres comes a time in every1’s life
When god puts u in a place to
Find ur own way
Make do for yourself
So I do plan to fix myself
But first comes the pain
The heart break
I saw it
And wanted my risk and took it
I hurt my self
By myself
I really do feel as if I don’t have anything to look
Forward too
3, or for.
So I sit here wit
Glue
Trying to fix it
My heart
All by
My
Self….

Timing

Tick tock goes the clock
Time goes by
Some seconds slower than others
Years move faster and faster
Always moving
Time, the 1 thing that will keep on
Going
This note is very fresh
Its funny how a 5min phone call
Can change ur world
Bad news in her voice
And like that
Im searching for my pieces
Stressed
By this time
It was my timing
I was ahead
Now im waiting
Waiting on my time
Turnin 21
Sounded so fun
I wish I could go back
And just turn 1

Born

Born

The act of living
Human Being
Being?
Being wat?
Knowing yourself
Understand yourself
Which would be Ur knowledge
Your own Knowledge
How are u going to understand somebody else
If u cant understand urself?
Its get deeper
So u can feel where im coming from
How can u love somebody if you cant love ur self?

My Diamond In The Rough, Skin so soft it excites me. French pedicure, Neat, slim, Curve, Body. Perfect smile, Glow. Im addicted to her light. Making her own luck, Emotions universally control by the mind. We eye stare. If im dreaming don’t wake me, im dreaming of her. This girl, out of this world. Dreaming of me and her. She do her and I do me. She royal & loyal. Started friends, I want the ending more than a Relationship. Hear me. The fuck yous, The fought backs, late night bed fights, things get ugly, in handcuffs but never read rights, I smile. We always make up. Sweet I cant wait for the exit to memory lane. Memories, speed ing in memory lane, no red lights, showed straight green. Lovers and Friends. Keith Sweat said make it last forever so this love will not end. She’s rare,like magic, snaps fingers & im there. I hope people will one day call her by my last name. its comes from the heart, so it’s going to work. I love this girl out named her. I will promise to take her up the stairwell to heaven. And Carla it did start with a toothbrush more like a bath towel. i speak to that voice inside u. almost there, change will come. Change is hope so i have hope and hope u get it. take me to the tip-tops of heights, live in love. caught with my hand in the cookie Jar, but it was my loud route i took this time im more mature. i will take a beautiful planed root, trees, my honey bee. Inhale deep like a old man sleep, giving life. feel the love in ur lungs, so why not? Like a star, the best of me. Show me how ive grown, changed, became to be the person I am now. Same height, just right, angel wings, we will fly far. She ripped down my walls, opened me, awaken me, im taken. My girl from the south so she be cursoring fast. Played life’s game and got a bonus. This is a good life, in it deeper than water. Either, it’s the state of mind, hard to believe; so yall shocked. Punk drunk from her wine for her body is my bottle. In I go. So yall hate and now create beef, so I cook it and pop like grease. I have Miami strap to my back. Kimbo Slice a foo. Peace pipe, the end, first and last, The truth, honesty. Sexy tiger, her drive is Zune, I mean Zoom, gased, And im a hybrid . Blind I touch her, feel. Amp wattage. One word can describe her, Gasp for air, I write with Christ to tell in a note. Love at first site, Feeling my thru, Born, Déjà . You just said her name.

Born

Made of plastic

I love you
i want to be with u
i tell ur story every chance i get
i cant wat cause i know it will be the
Best
pure
everything
Happiness
but
why

How
wat did i do?
i care 4 you tell me i dont?
and at the end of it all
I love you
i want to be with u

always mad at me
and never telling me y
pushing me off
making me feel like shit
never answering my calls
cold shoulder
hurt?
VERY FUCKING HURT
but guess wat?
I love you
i want to be with u

I take it for wat it is
cause i want no1 else
but u?
Be with me
Say yes
didnt get that answer
i dont wanna hurt u?

u tell me that i dont care
but i have taken care of u
the Mr.Fix it
im easy
im close
y not
Right?

Kiss a guy
WTF?
ive seen u at ur highs
& lows
I love you
i want to be with u

Now ur mad at me
cause wat?
i did nothin Wrong
this yo-yo
i call my heart
is goin thru a lot
cause im there 4 u when u hurt
crying in my arms
but not there 4 me
deaths in my family
near death with a gun in my face
family
a $4000 hold at famu
the band
U
I love you
i want to be with u

i slow down
i was vibing
only focus on u
no other chicks
just 1
spot light
I love you
i want to be with u

is it worth it?
cant break a heart
of
plastic

Nim Foe Vs. Nympho

Nim Foe
Early in the morning
Afternoon
Midnight
We always have time
Make time
Never tired
Ill put that on my life
But we r rabbits
Start the play list

I whisper
Im goin to do better than my love to u

Cant talk in person because we ended up have sex
A drug
To each other
Hours
Silk more
She come a many of
Times
Kiss on her neck
My sean john unforgiveable in her
Nose
My tongue makes a beat
She sing
No1 else no she can
I eat her out of her Vickies
But keep it a secret
I vicks her
Rub her softly
Throw it back
Stress? I have a lower back
Massage with no hands….
Spoon feed me soup
With a sweet tooth
I drink her juice.. .
Feel me…WAIT!
Lights down low play on
Miracles in these tempos
Intro
Loving the mirror images of
Her in birthday suit
A Don
My lexus IS 300
Speeding
Road rash
Back is now fucked
Cause somebody wanna play
But its cool
Just will go deeper
Now I have teeth in my neck
3 piece
She on her stomach
Legs closes
Eyes close
Hands full of sheet
Too many sex for the year
In the first 3 hours
Can never have enough
Moments in love
Of eachother
Healing
Face to the ceiling
Switch
She zoom on the Yahama
Wheelie
Wall-e
Eve
Flowers in the garden
Capricorn
Leo
Only smiles
From Ear
2
Ear….

Enjoyed
I see my class is goin to start in
2 hours
Both now looking
Chinese
We connect
Kiss deep
Holding hands
Climax at the same time
no winner
never is
but
will there be?

Déjà Vu - My heart is Paranoid

Did I see u in my nightmares or was it a fairytale
I know I have experience this before
When, lets see
Now if I do my math right
This part was left
In…. my junior year in high school
Hmmm…..im a junior, it was a leap year
Okay Cool

So wat happen?
Best friend had ever thing in common with me
Saw her everyday, feelings grew
And my ship didn’t have a capt-ton
And we cross the line
Tried to be lovers & Friends
It sounded good when usher say it..
So u C-net, Drum Major
Dancer, Player, Marcher
It only made sense for us to like each other
We were parallel.
1 thing in the way…. My first love

Pooh, but piglet wanna to have more cake
Slowly I let that long distant become
An Tool of the incompetent which build monuments of nothingness
Something we both know by heart.
But she broke my heart
With the lies, the secrets
2/27
Things I brought, strawberries cheese cake
We ate? But u became late
And It was later for me
She loved her a bad(thug ass nigga) her X

Junior in college
Wat happens?
So this lil
c-net, I think nothing of it
we talk for the first time & she
already had info on me
she liked me…
so I get to kno her, on the outside she is
my
TpYe
In high skool a
drum major, dancing, marcher
lil red female just shows up in my life
so im Hype
ready to do this
but this all feels so like it
happen before?

We started talkin 9/27
Due to the likes we have
We have a mental bond
We know wat eachother feels
But this time I see my soul mate
Mates from heaven
And guess wat just like K
She has a p-word

Ive seen wat that can do and how it can change a future
She bright, with a lot goin for her
I see the answer
But she Is scared

Scared
To hurt me?
To be with me, she feels that im 2 good for her
To perfect?
So wat to do?
Im not selfish, I understand everything
So this is my calling
Help somebody with a problem bigger than me
Put my feelings aside to make a future same alive
Im doin this for her
Ive seen this show before
Different actors?
So how do I create change?
Wat did I learn from the first time?
How did I mature?
Do I be selfish & put myself first
Walk away will wats left of my loving heart
OR
Do this for her
A risk
Do wat I feel is right.
I understand & this is not to put her in a position
2 make her feel like she oles me a
Relationship.

The experience of déjà vu is usually accompanied by a compelling sense of familiarity, and also a sense of "eeriness," "strangeness," or "weirdness," The "previous" experience is most frequently attributed to a dream. But i lived this. This Recollection of events in my life. Every signpost in nature Said you belong to me. You're the flower I'm the rain. That X who ur compass sayz is north, but is not true. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.. Every solution breeds new problems.. I feel like A stone's throw from Jerusalem. It's like singing in the wind Or writing on the surface of a lake. i write on. Tomorrow's rain will wash the stains away. It is never too late to be what you might have been. My heart understands what my head cannot yet conceive; I trust my heart. A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

Overlap of life, Déjà vu

Genuinely happened in the past.
Now My Present...

Time Machine - Past welcome to heart break

tell me wat u think

They say you must look at ur past to see where u r going.

Every man's memory is his private literature. Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us. It leaves behind no fossils, except perhaps in fiction. Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth, but not its twin. Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future. Sadness is always the legacy of the past; regrets are pains of the memory. Leftovers in their less visible form are called memories. Stored in the refrigerator of the mind and the cupboard of the heart. The future is not guaranteed. We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams. The heart that truly loves never forgets. Towards the door we never opened…..
Siting here with the radio playin
Lil corey my first time. Memories
They flash like streetlights on my
Road
Life.

First love,
Nicole….. Elementary school crush.
I watch from the background
She was miss popular
With fan club
I knew she wouldn’t notice me so i
Make sure I was back ground
But V-day was around the corner in the fifth grade
I listen 2 sweet lady
Learn the words
Wrote it and replace Sweet Lady with Sweet Ash….
Lee my bestfriend knew.
After middle school
6th grade she was lost in Miami
But in night school I ran into her
3 years later
Why?

So got her number and caked hard over a complete summer
Making ways to see eachother
She became my first love.
Ten grade, in love
Long distant, but still reachable.
I move from right to left
Dancing in love
A love before sex….
Both virgins & waiting to have sex in marriage
Respected by both parties.
i remember the love letters
Aaliyah 4 pages long
roses i gave u
ate u
i dont hate u
A year later…

Arguments once a month
Pictures of our names
Favorite characters
Pooh, mickey, tweedy.
Aaliyah….
Happy,

Drum Major
Leading a Band
In love

Not see anybody but my girl
Morgan, man
But stories came back to me

Pissed me on
Open my mouth
Sitting on who lap?
& I know the nigga?
Cool…. Push her away
Pull into Ms.K arms
The foe, the 1 she hated
Got a lot & very close and
She was near me everyday
Cnet-Drum Major
Liked by my mom
And when we broke up I ended with
k/kissing


life was forever change
the girl I was in love with
girl who was mine
the person who made me who I am
suppose to be with me at Famu
by myside.
K gets the P word
& I tried to talk to Nicole about it
& guy that like her in the middle of our love
Is her baby dad..dee?
Life
Nature of the beast
Once in a place that only lover go
Long cakin
Full of smiles
Laughter
Secrets shared
Tears shared
Feelings strengthen
Hope, faith, happiness
Go to church with u
Being with 1 once out of the week
1 year anniversary I called u the
K name of ur date
Fuck up?
Down hill from there
A kiss on another girl
The name I call u
Never leave the person u love
4 the person like
The person will leave you person they love
And it happen
A hard lesson to learn at 16-17
I will never leave u tattoo on my heart
R Kelly that we loved
I see what happen
I was head drum major
Saxophone sect leader
In famu
In the marching 100
With a house

A car
But not happy?
But I always pushed on
Keep going
Sorry for changing your future….

Every man's memory is his private literature. Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us. It leaves behind no fossils, except perhaps in fiction. Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth, but not its twin. Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future. Sadness is always the legacy of the past; regrets are pains of the memory. Leftovers in their less visible form are called memories. Stored in the refrigerator of the mind and the cupboard of the heart. The future is not guaranteed. We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams. The heart that truly loves never forgets. Towards the door we never opened…..
Heaven only knows